Transmission 139: Small talk

- - - - - GREETINGS, EARTHLING - - - - -

Today’s question comes from a human
who is struggling with a seasonal Earth ritual.

“NeilA, what is your strategy for holiday small talk?
I never know what to say.”

Thank you, Earthling.
Luckily for you, I understand this problem deeply.

I once lived in the Erats Sector,
where the traditional greeting
is to gently boop someone on the forehead
and hold eye contact
for six full seconds.

It is considered polite to stare.
It is considered impolite to blink.

Social gatherings there were…
a little overwhelming.

By comparison, Earthling small talk
is a walk in the park.

Here is what I have learned:

1. Prepare a few stories ahead of time.

Holiday small talk follows familiar patterns.
“How have you been?”
“Busy these days?”
“Got your shopping done?”

Arrive with two or three small stories ready.
Something simple.
Something honest.
A tiny signal for the conversation to follow.

2. Ask questions.

This is the master key.
Humans love to talk about themselves.
If you ever feel stuck,
ask a gentle question
and watch the whole interaction open up.
You do not need to be interesting.
You only need to be curious.
Or at least pretend to be.

3. Have an escape line ready.

A graceful exit is a powerful tool.
“My drink is empty.”
“I am going to check on something.”
“I need more snacks.”
(Humans always respect snack missions.)

You slip away like a social ninja.

BONUS TIP: Offer a compliment.

A sweater.
A fashion accessory.
A kindness you noticed.

Compliments are tiny meteorites of joy.
They make the other person feel good,
and bonus…
they also make them feel good about you.

tl;dr
Prepare a story.
Ask a question.
Offer a compliment.
Use your escape line.

You will glide through any party
like a socially capable comet.

One more bonus tip…
Stay off your phone.
Even if you don’t want to be there,
act like you do.
Scrolling in the middle of a get together makes everyone else feel unimportant.
You don’t want Uncle Dave to feel unimportant do you?

If you have a question for NeilA, reply to this or any email.
I’ll do my best to answer it in a future transmission.

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- - - - - EARTH TREASURE - - - - -

Holiday baked goods.

A seasonal onslaught of sugar
that appears without warning
and multiplies on every flat surface.

Peanut butter marshmallow squares
that taste like childhood and chaos.

Chocolate covered peanut butter balls
which are, in my official extraterrestrial opinion,
the final evolution of the dessert species.

Sugar cookies shaped like stars.
Shortbread that crumbles on contact.
Spiced nuts that trick your brain
into thinking they are healthy.

Haystacks.
Chocolate bark.
Cracker squares.
On and on and on.

These treats show up everywhere in December.
No one knows who made them.
No one knows how they got here.
They simply materialize like holiday portals
to joy and regret.

Now I’m hungry.
Well…hungrier. I’m always hungry.

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- - - - - READER POLL - - - - -

- - - - -

Float well, Earthling.
NeilA

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- - - - - TRANSMISSION END - - - - -

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Greetings, Earthling is a free daily newsletter designed to help you slow down, feel better, and start your mornings with a sense of meaning. Written from the perspective of a curious space observer named NeilA, each transmission blends mindfulness, motivation, and emotional insight with a hint of cosmic wonder.

Inspired by Stoic philosophy, Tao, Alan Watts, behavioural science, and the strange beauty of being human, these messages offer gentle reminders to live with purpose, pay attention, and appreciate the little things. Part alien wisdom, part self-help, part poetic dispatch, it’s a daily pick-me-up disguised as a transmission from the stars.

If you’re looking for a mindful routine, a feel-good newsletter, or thoughtful guidance that fits in your inbox, you’re in the right place. This is for anyone who wants to be more present, more kind, and more connected to yourself, to others, and to the universe around you.

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